Fog – Friday Fictioneers

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It’s Friday Fictioneers time! The challenge is to write 100 words based on a weekly photo prompt chosen by our host Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Check out her blog for more information by clicking here. Thank you to all who take the time to read, like or comment.

2016 07 01

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Fog

Fog covers everything.

“My name is John Matthews. My name is John Matthews. My name is…”

She’ll be back soon. She always comes back. And when she does the fog will lift, for a time at least.

One who wears blue is fussing over his bed, chatting away incessantly.

“My daughter. When is my daughter coming?”

“I’m sorry Mr Matthews. Jennifer passed away last year. Remember?”

Remember.

Jennifer? Yes! That was her name. His beautiful Jenny.

He sees her face clearly. A shining beacon in the fog. His guiding light.

“Jennifer. Jennifer. Jenny.”

The beacon fades. She disappears.

Fog covers everything.

35 responses to “Fog – Friday Fictioneers”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar

    A sad portrait of the decay of a mind, a person

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Neil

      Like

  2. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Thom,

    My mother in law is in the throes of Alzheimer’s. I can’t think of a crueler disease. You’ve captured the inner workings beautifully. I’m deeply touched.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you for this feedback Rochelle. I’m glad my story touched you. Sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. It really is an awful thing to happen to someone.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. wmqcolby Avatar

    Thom, this was SO heartbreakingly real. Excellent job not only on the story but the choice of metaphor. Fine ending bookend, too. 🙂 Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you once again!

      Like

  4. Sandra Avatar

    So graphic, so imaginable. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Sandra

      Like

  5. Snow's Fissures and Fractures Avatar

    Such a sad, sad story. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. FabricatingFiction Avatar

    Very sensitively written.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar

    Oh I do know that disease.. my mother has it… and every time we meet she has faded a bit… wonderful and sad POV

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Sorry to hear that Björn. Thank you for your feedback.

      Like

  8. Lynn Love Avatar

    Really well written, Thom. So exactly right – the weather as a metaphor for the way his mind comes in and out of focus. Very sad, heartbreaking stuff. Weirdly, my story was about a dementia patient too – wonder what made us both think along the same lines?
    Great stuff

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Lynn. That’s two weeks in a row now! We both went post-apocalyptic with the aeroplane and now this!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lynn Love Avatar

        Haha! True 🙂 What dark alleyways our minds travel. Wonder if I’ll write anything more cheerful this week? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Mike Avatar

    This is very well put together. Mike

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Mike

      Like

  10. paulmclem Avatar
    paulmclem

    The decaying mind is often used in FF stories (used it myself more than once), and it needs a sensitive touch. Think you’ve done a solid job here. Some nice phrases.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks for this feedback Paul

      Like

  11. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    Excellent and heartbreaking. Dementia kills a personality long before the person dies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks for reading

      Like

  12. draliman Avatar

    Sad portrayal of Alzheimer’s or similar. Very well written and believable!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Dreamer of Dreams Avatar

    Beautifully written, as always, Thom! Deeply moving, oh, and so heart-breaking!

    (Many months ago, I, too, explored Alzheimer’s in an FF story. It’s one of the saddest things imaginable, to lose one’s mind, and be unmade by the loss.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks again!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. mickwynn2013 Avatar
    mickwynn2013

    Very moving and brilliantly executed

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Mick

      Liked by 1 person

  15. nonsmokingladybug Avatar

    You moved me with 100 words.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Siobhan McNamara Avatar

    The cycle of heartbreak for this poor patient, it really is a desperately cruel disease

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks for reading Siobhan!

      Like

  17. patriciaruthsusan Avatar

    Beautifully written story, Thom. I understand perfectly. My mother had Alzheimer’s and forgot my father had died years before. She wondered why he didn’t come to visit her at the nursing home. We didn’t remind her, though. We told her he was on a trip. It’s so sad. Well done. —- Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Sorry to hear that Patricia. I did wonder if the nurse in my story was being a little insensitive. It might have been kinder to to keep the truth from him. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

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