The Mill – Friday Fictioneers

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Time for another Friday Fictioneers entry. The challenge is to write 100 words based on a weekly photo prompt chosen by our host Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Check out her blog for more information by clicking here.

I was blown away by the response to Tide last week. In terms of likes and comments it was my most popular post so far (although not one of my personal favourites). This week I’ve gone far outside my comfort zone and written a poem. As always, thank you to all who take the time to read, like or comment.

2016 06 03

PHOTO PROMPT © Piya Singh

The Mill

To crush the grain of unpure thought
I built a mill inside my mind.
On hate and lust the millstone feeds
Continuing its endless grind.

Though good intentions paved the way
This mill’s the dark Satanic kind.
The grain became a toxic dust
Now to all else I’m blind.

Starved of grain, sweet friction would ensure
The mill burns to the ground.
But my soul too would be consumed
As to my millstone, I am bound.

Instead the mill, well fed, continues
Rumbling deep within my tortured mind.
Whilst I, the miller, labour on
Worn down beneath its endless grind.

44 responses to “The Mill – Friday Fictioneers”

  1. Joy Pixley Avatar

    Lovely classic horror feel to this poem!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Joy!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ansumani Avatar

    We are bound aren’t we…to that millstone. Nice poem.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you!

      Like

  3. Lynn Love Avatar

    What a great metaphor – the mill as the dark, grinding aspect of his mind. And Joy’s right – a real Poe like feel to this. Very nicely done 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Lynn. I love Poe so that’s a real compliment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lynn Love Avatar

        My pleasure 🙂

        Like

  4. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar

    Oh yes the metaphor of the miller and the writer… great pace and rhythm in this… I cannot understand why poetry should be out of your comfort zone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Björn. I find poetry really challenging to write but I’m pleased with how this one turned out.

      Like

  5. paulmclem Avatar
    paulmclem

    I am in no position to comment on poetry…but I liked the overall feel of the piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Paul. Glad you liked it.

      Like

  6. wmqcolby Avatar

    Whoa! Totally didn’t expect something this amazingly great! I’m a sucker for poetry and this had a terrific message. It was SO TRUE!

    Thom, you outdid yourself. I LOVE it!

    Five out of five loaves (plus two fish and five thousand people)!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Wow! I didn’t expect a reaction like this either! Thanks for this great comment. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Like

      1. wmqcolby Avatar

        This is what it’s about man! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Mike Avatar

    I love the opening verse to this poem, and there was no toxic dust anywhere else either.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Mike.

      Like

  8. Dreamer of Dreams Avatar

    Beautifully evoked sense of helplessness with the image of the miller being bound to his millstone!
    Very dark, evocative, gloomy poem – very well-written!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      A ‘very dark, evocative, gloomy poem’ was exactly what I was hoping to achieve! Thanks for the feedback. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dreamer of Dreams Avatar

        You’re welcome!

        Like

  9. maria Avatar

    Woah. This is great! And thought-provoking. Raw and dark .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Maria.

      Like

  10. Sandra Avatar

    I echo Paul’s comments above. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Sandra.

      Like

  11. draliman Avatar

    Great poem! Good analogy, has a very dark feel to it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. spicedmullings Avatar

    Awesome poem!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks!

      Like

  13. The Voice Avatar

    And you say poetry is outside of your comfort zone, Thom? I’d never have guessed that. Your word choice and the imagery you crafted was marvelous. This was very well done. I’d consider submitting it for publication.

    Like

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks! I find it much harder with poetry to know if what I’ve written is any good (it takes me much longer too and I generally find it a frustrating experience). This is why I consider it out of my comfort zone. It was nice to challenge myself this week though and the feedback has been really positive!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The Voice Avatar

        It was very good. Like you, I struggle with poetry, but I know mine stinks. I wouldn’t mind seeing more from you.

        Like

  14. Edith M. Field Avatar

    An excellent piece of poetry. The imagery is very powerful and the concept is particularly striking. I like the way you change the rhythm in the last line of verse two to draw attention to the dramatic content of verse 3. The return to the rhythm at the beginning of verse 4 emphasises the rumbling and the labouring going on and on relentlessly. You are a poet! I look forward to reading more.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Edith. It’s really helpful to have this feedback. I didn’t put much conscious thought into the rhythm – I just did what felt natural. I’m glad it worked though! And you have given me something to think about in my future experiements with poetry!

      Like

  15. rgayer55 Avatar

    Bravo! I loved the mill grinding in the mind. Five stars.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Roger. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Like

  16. mickwynn2013 Avatar
    mickwynn2013

    Great poem about how hatred can absorb and control us. As already stated brilliant analogy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Mick!

      Like

  17. jellico84 Avatar
    jellico84

    Quite an image you have created. How powerful, like water itself, hatred can be. Well conveyed and worthy of some kind of award! ❤ 🙂

    Like

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      All this talk of publication and awards will make my head swell! Thanks though – it’s great to have such nice feedback. Maybe I’ll keep an eye out for a competition I can enter it in to

      Liked by 1 person

  18. rochellewisoff Avatar

    Dear Thom,

    You should step out of your comfort zone more often. I’m not an expert on poetry but I think you did a great job.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Rochelle. It’s funny how sometimes the photo prompt puts something in your mind that won’t let you go. I had no prior intention to write a poem but the photo immediately gave me the line ‘I built a mill inside my mind’ and I spent the rest of the day wrestling the resulting poem into submission! It was quite exhausting – I don’t think I’ll be writing a poem every week!

      Like

  19. Dahlia Avatar

    This depicts our internal conflict very effectively.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Dahlia!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    Wow. This is so philosophical. I love how the mill grinds all the unwanted thoughts and deeds into toxic dust. You have to accept your mistakes, not try to grind them away. And this can apply to so many themes. Deep and powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks for the feedback. I’m glad you liked the bit about the dust – it was my favourite image!

      Liked by 1 person

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