Thomas Charles Henry

The place where my writing lives.

Tide – Friday Fictioneers

Published by

Thomas Charles Henry

on

Time for another Friday Fictioneers entry. The challenge is to write 100 words based on a weekly photo prompt chosen by our host Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Check out her blog for more information by clicking here. Thank you to all who take the time to read, like or comment.

2016 05 27

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Tide

He had been drunk of course. Drunk and careless, they told her apologetically. The retreating tide always made the rocks treacherous.

With such ease that she wondered why she had never done it before, Sarah slipped the gold band from her finger and let it fall. A high-pitched note rang out as it bounced, like the peal of a bell, cutting through the roar and turmoil with absolute clarity.

She did not see where it landed. Her eyes were already fixed on the horizon: on different shores and endless possibilities. The rocks under her feet felt anything but treacherous.

54 responses to “Tide – Friday Fictioneers”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar
    neilmacdon

    I like the sound of the tumbling ring. But shouldn’t that be “peal”?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      That’s a great catch Neil! Thank you! I’ve changed it now.

      Like

      Reply
  2. FabricatingFiction Avatar
    FabricatingFiction

    A new beginning! Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. michael1148humphris Avatar
    michael1148humphris

    This is a tasty piece, you say so much in so few words, well done. Mike

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Mike!

      Like

      Reply
  4. Lynn Love Avatar
    Lynn Love

    Wonder what he did to deserve that? Great story and well constructed – hinting at what has occurred while not spelling it out. Nicely done

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Lynn!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Lynn Love Avatar
        Lynn Love

        🙂

        Like

  5. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Thom,

    This is was a feast for the senses. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Rochelle. And thank you for another inspiring prompt.

      Like

      Reply
  6. Clare Hempstead Avatar
    Clare Hempstead

    You have conveyed her past unhappiness and the hope for the future extremely well. Let’s hope the distant shores hold a better life for her. .

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Clare. Sometimes we seem destined to relive past mistakes. She seems quite determined though so I think she has a chance!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. paulmclem Avatar
    paulmclem

    Love the last line. Kudos!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Paul!

      Like

      Reply
  8. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Great way.. I think I prefer your end to my grizzly and murderous.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Björn. Originally my character was involved in her husband’s death and took the rock he cracked his head on home to keep it in her garden. I changed direction in the edit though.

      Like

      Reply
  9. mickwynn2013 Avatar
    mickwynn2013

    Great piece and subtly delivered. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Mick!

      Like

      Reply
  10. Edith M. Field Avatar
    Edith M. Field

    One man’s loss is another (wo)man’s gain! A powerful and liberating piece of writing. I loved it!

    Like

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Edith! I don’t think he’ll be missed!

      Like

      Reply
  11. spicedmullings Avatar
    spicedmullings

    Such a play on the word treacherous!
    Treachery!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks! I did enjoy playing with that word!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. Dahlia Avatar
    Dahlia

    If not treacherous – partners in crime perhaps? I can see endless possibilities with this one. Nicely told!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Dahlia! And good spot – in the original draft Sarah was involved in his death, she and the rocks were definitely partners in crime. I changed direction in the end but I am glad that some echoes of the original seem to have lingered!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Dahlia Avatar
        Dahlia

        Great! 😀

        Like

  13. mjlstories Avatar
    mjlstories

    Those rocks are collecting bodies this Friday Fiction! I love the story between the lines.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you! It’s funny the different ways that a picture can inspire people. I make a point of only reading Rochelle’s story before I write my own so as not to be influenced by others. It always makes me smile when I realise I’ve had a similar reaction to others (although of course it’s much more satisfying to come up with something entirely original)!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. wmqcolby Avatar
    wmqcolby

    To the point, kept on going and landed spot on.

    Awesome job, Thom! New beginnings, YES!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it and that you keep coming back for more!

      Like

      Reply
  15. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    For her, the tide’s turned, she’s not exactly a grieving widow. Great writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks! I’m not sure he was worth grieving for. Although he must have been once, otherwise she wouldn’t have married him…

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  16. Dreamer of Dreams Avatar
    Dreamer of Dreams

    A stunning story, Thom! “A high-pitched note rang out as it bounced, like the peal of a bell, cutting through the roar and turmoil with absolute clarity” was exquisitely evocative.
    The story itself was chillingly brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Wow! Thank you! That’s a lovely piece of feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Dreamer of Dreams Avatar
        Dreamer of Dreams

        You are most welcome!

        Like

  17. patrickprinsloo Avatar
    patrickprinsloo

    There’s some mystery here which I like. I’ll be pondering this one for a while.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Patrick! Glad you liked it.

      Like

      Reply
  18. The Voice Avatar
    The Voice

    As has been mentioned, bringing attention to the clarity of the sound her ring makes as it drops on the rocks is a great metaphor for her state of mind. Really well written, Thom.

    Like

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks! I thought I was on to something when I wrote that line and it took a bit of playing with before I was satisfied with it. It’s nice to have it validated!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  19. liz young Avatar
    liz young

    Totally believable.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Liz!

      Like

      Reply
  20. Dale Avatar
    Dale

    Loved this. Sometimes when the tide comes in, so do new “opportunities” for new beginnings. I’m afraid he will not be missed…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Dale! I think you might be right.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  21. rgayer55 Avatar
    rgayer55

    Great piece, Thom. Not much I can add to what’s already been said. I loved the sound of the ring hitting the rocks. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks! That seems to have been a popular line this week. I’m glad so many people liked it.

      Like

      Reply
  22. k rawson Avatar
    k rawson

    So thick with telling detail. Really nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you!

      Like

      Reply
  23. freyathewriter Avatar
    freyathewriter

    Gosh, I wonder if she had anything to do with his demise, or if it was much more just a happy release for her. Great write!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Have you been sneaking a look at my previous drafts?! Originally she was but I changed direction for the finished piece. Thanks for the feedback. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. freyathewriter Avatar
        freyathewriter

        I have many powers… 😉

        Like

  24. Amy Reese Avatar
    Amy Reese

    Nice solid line at the end. Very well done. There is something so dramatic about tossing a ring in the sea!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Amy! Glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  25. patriciaruthsusan Avatar
    patriciaruthsusan

    There seems to be a second level to your story. He must have been anything but the perfect husband. She now has another chance at a better life. Well done, Thom. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Suzanne. It’s often the unwritten things that are the most interesting. Glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

      Reply
  26. The Mill – Friday Fictioneers – Thomas Carswell

    […] Tide – Friday Fictioneers […]

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to paulmclem Cancel reply

Previous Post
Next Post