Thomas Charles Henry

The place where my writing lives.

Waiting – Friday Fictioneers

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Thomas Charles Henry

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Time for another Friday Fictioneers entry. The challenge is to write 100 words based on a weekly photo prompt chosen by our host Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Check out her blog for more information by clicking here. Thank you to all who take the time to read, like or comment.

2016 05 20

PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

Waiting

Two people sit in the waiting room: me and the girl I’m in love with. I watch as she subconsciously tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and turns the page of a well-worn copy of The Catcher in the Rye. She’s perfect.

My heart races. There’s a fifty percent chance this girl will be my wife. It all comes down to fate: one question, one answer.

A disembodied voice announces the next train, heading in the opposite direction to mine. The most amazing girl I’ve never met gathers her things and leaves. She doesn’t even look at me.

19 responses to “Waiting – Friday Fictioneers”

  1. neilmacdon Avatar
    neilmacdon

    Poor guy. Bit she’s well out of it

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  2. spicedmullings Avatar
    spicedmullings

    Poor guys. Wishful thinking. But then that’s life!

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  3. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Thomas,

    Looks like the odds were against him. Very well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Rochelle.

      Great prompt as usual!

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  4. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Amazing… my first thought when i saw the picture was “catcher in the rye”, but I had no idea where to go from there… I feel like he became Holden himself in this story.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Wow! That is amazing Björn. Great minds think alike. Thanks for reading.

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  5. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    Faint heart never won fair lady. I prefer to believe they weren’t suited anyway. A nice vignette of one of those potentially life-changing moments that withers into nothing. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      He needs to improve his self-confidence if he’s to have any luck! Although he’s got little chance of that with me as his author! Poor guy.

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  6. any1mark66 Avatar
    any1mark66

    The problem with hesitating. You may never get a second chance. Nicely done

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. The Voice Avatar
    The Voice

    I can’t count the number of times I’ve fallen in love like this. I have so many potential mates out there wandering around never knowing their one true love failed to acknowledge his feelings. (From their perspective, they probably avoided an uncomfortable encounter with some creepy stalkerish dude…lol) Ah, unrequited love!

    Nice story, Thom.

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    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      As this story is somewhat semi-autobiographical I can guarantee he will fall in love in this way many times with the same result! But then fantasy is sometimes preferable to reality!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. michael1148humphris Avatar
    michael1148humphris

    This happens so often, it’s a good job we do not have a time machine to turn the clock back.

    Liked by 2 people

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  9. paulmclem Avatar
    paulmclem

    Think in reality it was less than 50%…lol. Nice mood you created here.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks Paul. I think in his head it all hinged on whether she boarded his train or not (although even if she had, the chances are he would have been too shy to make the first move).

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  10. wmqcolby Avatar
    wmqcolby

    Wow! hahaha! I like this one.

    Reminds me of Mr. Bernstein in the movie Citizen Kane where, in his old age says he once, when he was young, saw a girl at a train station with a pink parasol. Only glimpsed her for a moment, but, not a day or week went by of his whole life that he didn’t think about that girl. Sherwood Anderson wrote a whole short story about something like this, too (I think the title was I’m A Fool). Unrequited love is universal and always a good subject.

    I say to this character, “Obey the impulse.” You never know..

    Great work this week, Thom!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thanks for the great comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it! I’ll pass your advice on although I think he’s destined to make the same mistakes again!

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  11. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    If only he had said something. I guess he’ll find more almost-wives until he finds the right one.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      I’m sure he will. I think the ‘right one’ will be the one who makes the first move for him! Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. Nan Mykel Avatar
    Nan Mykel

    The book would have been a conversation-starter, if only he had read it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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