Thomas Charles Henry

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Ebb and Flow – Friday Fictioneers

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Thomas Charles Henry

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Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields that inspires writers to create 100-word stories based on a photo prompt. I learned of its existence after reading Claire Fuller’s excellent debut novel Our Endless Numbered Days. This is my first attempt.

16 03 2016

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Ebb and Flow

Sometimes the worst part of watching a life end is your own reaction.

The river had become my only companion. Sometimes calm, other times enraged, but never fully trustworthy: my soulmate.

The lamb never stood a chance. Its hooves could get no purchase on the slick surface of the rock where it had become stranded. A memory appeared uninvited: the time we had to put one of Hannah’s cuddly toys through the washing machine after she had gotten sick.

The lifeless bundle of wool resurfaced and the river carried it off downstream. I took another sip of tea, feeling nothing.

28 responses to “Ebb and Flow – Friday Fictioneers”

  1. wildchild47 Avatar
    wildchild47

    Grim. Absolutely grim – but beautifully executed with exacting precision.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you so much for your feedback! I’m glad you enjoyed it despite its grimness!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. wildchild47 Avatar
        wildchild47

        Very well written … and sometimes grim is just the ticket.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    The voice of your tale is absolutely perfect… the first sentence connecting well to the last one. You might get hooked into this writing… I did (three years ago or so).

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Björn! I’ve wanted to write for a long time but have lacked discipline. 100 words per week seemed like an ideal place to start. I am enjoying the challenge of being ruthless – my first draft was over 180 words and I didn’t want to part with any of it. In the end I managed to get it down to 100 words exactly and was very pleased with the result.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
        Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

        You did extremely well…:-) Kudos.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. FabricatingFiction Avatar
        FabricatingFiction

        That’s a lot of words to have to cut – well done.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. britlight Avatar
    britlight

    Oof! Candid and cold. Love it. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

      Like

      Reply
  4. Mike Avatar
    Mike

    So cold, so well put together, it is hard to only have a hundred words. I liked this

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Claire Fuller Avatar
    Claire Fuller

    This is wonderful – so many layers and beautifully understated. I love how you start with prompting us to think that the narrator’s reaction is going to be extreme when he sees death, and I imagined anguished, loud, tearful, and then at the end it is still extreme, but in the opposite way: an extreme-ness of nothing. Very clever. (And I’m not just saying that because you read and enjoyed Our Endless Numbered Days!)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Hi Claire. Thank you for your kind feedback and for the inspiration to join this group. I really did enjoy Our Endless Numbered Days. I am currently studying for an MA in English through the Open University and yours is the first book I have read purely for pleasure since starting the course! I am currently on a short break before starting my dissertation and I chose Our Endless Numbered Days out of a whole stack of books that I wanted to read. It was the right decision!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Claire Fuller Avatar
        Claire Fuller

        That’s lovely to know, and good luck with the dissertation!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. emmylgant Avatar
    emmylgant

    A whole life in 100 words. Super!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. heidibusbybrown Avatar
    heidibusbybrown

    Well written and a fantastic take on the prompt! I love his reaction cold but true to who he is.
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. gahlearner Avatar
    gahlearner

    This narrator chills me to the bone with his lack of emotions, which is exactly what you want, I’m sure. Perfectly told.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. creatingahome Avatar
    creatingahome

    Very well executed.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. aliciajamtaas Avatar
    aliciajamtaas

    Nicely done. Full circle from first line to the last….

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. Sandra Avatar
    Sandra

    I really enjoyed this. You conveyed such a feeling of emptiness – a lack of emotion. And you reminded me of a time when I was very ill as a child and had exactly the same experience with one of my woolly toys. Beautifully done – I look forward to reading more from you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Sandra. That’s really great feedback. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Like

      Reply
    2. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you Sandra. I have a feeling I’m going to really enjoy being part of this group.

      Like

      Reply
  12. rochellewisoff Avatar
    rochellewisoff

    Dear Thom,

    Stunning piece of writing. A hearty welcome to Friday Fictioneers with your brilliant first piece. I hope it won’t be your last.

    Shalom,

    Rochlle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Thom Carswell Avatar
      Thom Carswell

      Thank you for your feedback Rochelle. And thank you for hosting! I look forward to the next prompt.

      Like

      Reply
  13. Dreamer of Dreams Avatar
    Dreamer of Dreams

    That was a soul-chilling story, Thom! I felt the deep apathy and indifference of the character like a knife … and yet, with those descriptions, I felt a lurking sorrow under all of that lack of feeling — as if he was sorrowful at not feeling sorrowful.
    (And thank you for visiting my site, and letting me know you read a number of my stories before joining. I am honoured.)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. draliman Avatar
    draliman

    Great piece! I worry about your narrator, he seems quite emotionless. Great description of the dead lamb as a “lifeless bundle of wool”.
    Welcome to FF 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. rgayer55 Avatar
    rgayer55

    Very tightly written. I loved the line, “a memory appeared uninvited.” Welcome to the group.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  16. patriciaruthsusan Avatar
    patriciaruthsusan

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers, Thom. Good story. Sometimes death has to be accepted as part of life. When it’s someone we know it’s really difficult and we mourn, but we can’t let every death hurt us and burden us. We’d be constantly depressed. Well done. — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. jellico84 Avatar
    jellico84

    what a sad image, and all too often seen. well told.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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