Thomas Charles Henry

I have tinkered with a piece I wrote back in 2019. I originally intended it to be a song but, unfortunately, I have very little musical talent. Oh well! It’s now a poem, and I will be performing it as part of ‘Proud Poetry’ in Southend-on-Sea on Wednesday 9th July 2024. Wish me luck!

Grindr

I spent the night on Grindr.
Normally, I dislike all forms of social media.
But I was looking for a distraction 
from my boredom and isolation.
It’s a shame none of these guys can spell.
I guess I’ll stick to masturbation. 

And that’s because:
When there’s a ‘their’, 
or a ‘they’re’,
where there should be a ‘there’, 
then there’s no hope for us.

And if you’re unsure 
if it’s a ‘your’, 
or a ‘you’re’, 
then you’re not going to be my date.

Oh god, I hate myself!
I’d rather stay home with my cat.
He’s my best friend and he barely likes me. 
Am I the villain of this story?

Soon, I’m back on Grindr.
I’m feeling so alone, I’ll try to be a little kinder.
To my surprise
there’s a message waiting, asking:
“R U free 2nite?”
The text speak makes my skin crawl,
although his profile looks alright.

But here’s my view:
If you can’t tell a ‘to’ 
from a ‘too’,
or a ‘two’, 
then I’m not too into you.

And whilst we’re on the subject:
‘you’ is a three letter word – 
you don’t need to abbreviate!

Oh god, I hate myself!
I think I’ll stay home with my cat.
He’s my best friend and he barely likes me.
Am I the villain of this story?

Now,
I don’t know how to reply.
Maybe I’ll sign out for the night.
It’s a shame because he looked like my type:
Chubby and cute, 
nerdy,
a Side!
Quite adorable!
Should I just get over it all?
He’s only 5 kilometres away.
There’s not much choice in this dead-end town if you’re gay.

Now,
he’s sent me a picture,
and his cock is so much bigger than mine 
(not that it’s difficult). 
It’s just not what I was expecting.
I’ll admit, it’s intimidating.
Not to mention, depressing.
I’ve been on this app for hours, constantly refreshing.

That’s why I hate myself.
I should just stay home with my cat.
He’s my best friend and he barely likes me.
I mean, why would he?
You’ve seen the best of me.
It’s not pretty.
I am the villain of this story. 
Destined to be forever lonely.

But at least I’ve got my books!